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Well, I heard that you`re leavin`, Gonna leave me far behind, `Cause you found a brand new lover, You decided that I`m not your kind, So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex, And I tore all your pictures in two, And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go, Just because it reminds me of you. That`s right, you ain`t gonna see me cryin`. I`m glad that you found somebody new, `Cause I`d rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, Than spend one more minute with you. I guess I might seem kinda bitter. You got me feelin` down in the dumps. `Cause I`m stranded all alone in the Gas Station of Love, And I have to use the self-service pumps! Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase. You ain`t gonna break my heart in two. `Cause I`d rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, Than spend one more minute with you. I`d rather rip out my intestines with a fork, Than watch you going out with other men. I`d rather slam my fingers in a door, Again and again and again and again and again. Aw, can`t you see what I`m tryin` to say, darlin`. I`d rather have my blood sucked out by leeches, Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two. I`d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue, Than spend one more minute with you. Yes, I`d rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks, Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue. I`d rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades, Than spend one more minute with you. I`d rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die... Than spend one more minute with you.
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