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Down in the workshop all the elves were makin` toys For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared `em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, "Merry Christmas to all - now you`re all gonna die!" The night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he`d been gettin` a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it Everywhere you`ll find pieces of Cupid and Comet And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!" The night Santa went crazy The night Kris Kringle went nuts Now you can`t hardly walk around the North Pole Without steppin` in reindeer guts There`s the National Guard and the F.B.I. There`s a van from the Eyewitness News And helicopters circlin` `round in the sky And the bullets are flyin`, the body count`s risin` And everyone`s dyin` to know, oh Santa, why? My my my my my my You used to be such a jolly guy Yes Virginia, Now Santa is dead Some guy From the swat team blew a hole through his head Yes little friend now, thats his brains on the floor, I guess they wont have the fat guy kicking around anymore But now there`s no more presents for children`s enjoyment And the Elves have to wait in the line and file for unemployment And they say Mrs. Clause, she`s on the phone every night With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights They`re talkin` bout - the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nicholas flipped Broke his back for some milk and cookies Sounds to me like he was sick of gettin` gypped Wo, the night Santa went crazy The night St. Nick went insane Realized he`s gettin` a raw deal Something finally must have snapped in his brain Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain [Thanks to chicken@hotmail.com for these lyrics]
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