Текст (слова) песни: Weird Al Yankovic - Your Horoscope For Today

AQUARIUS!
There`s travel in your future when your tongue freezes
to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-
Mole 17 hours a day

PISCES!
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what
those idiots at work say

ARIES!
The look on your face will be priceless when you find
that 40-pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a
hickey to Meryl Streep

TAURUS!
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna
do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you`ll wake up, do a bunch
of stuff and then go back to sleep

That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today

GEMINI!
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your
explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble your fiance
hurls a javelin through your chest

CANCER!
The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the
rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while
taking your driver`s test

LEO!
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and
staple it to your boss`s face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it
down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

VIRGO!
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -
except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with
your head impaled upon a stick

That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets
and the stars could have a special deep significance or
meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let
me give you my assurance that these forecasts and
predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented
evidence, so you would have to be some kind of
moron not to realize that every single one of them is
absolutely true.

Where was I?

LIBRA!
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone
much more talented than you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that
when your appendix bursts next week

SCORPIO!
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall
screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your
low self esteem, you stupid freak

SAGITTARIUS!
All your friends are laughing behind your back...
kill them
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
you`ve got hanging in your den

CAPRICORN!
The stars say that you`re an exciting and wonderful
person... but you know they`re lying
If I were you, I`d lock my doors and windows and never
never never never never leave my house again

That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today
That`s your horoscope for today

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Меню » Главная » Музыка » Правила » В избранное	Музыка RU: 0-9 А Б В Г Д Е Ж З И К Л М Н О П Р С Т У Ф Х Ц Ч Ш Щ Э Ю Я EN: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Текст (слова) песни: Weird Al Yankovic - Your Horoscope For Today AQUARIUS! There`s travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A- Mole 17 hours a day PISCES! Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say ARIES! The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40-pound watermelon in your colon Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep TAURUS! You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you`ll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today GEMINI! Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence Your love life will run into trouble your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest CANCER! The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver`s test LEO! Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss`s face, oh no Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik VIRGO! All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true. Where was I? LIBRA! A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than you Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week SCORPIO! Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak SAGITTARIUS! All your friends are laughing behind your back... kill them Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you`ve got hanging in your den CAPRICORN! The stars say that you`re an exciting and wonderful person... but you know they`re lying If I were you, I`d lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today That`s your horoscope for today Нравится песня? Расскажи о ней друзьям: Прямая ссылка на текст песни Your Horoscope For Today: http://musworld.ru/music/eng/122/1/1403.html Все тексты песен: Weird Al Yankovic » Weird Al Yankovic - Belvedere Cruising » Weird Al Yankovic - Heres Johnny » Weird Al Yankovic - Cavity Search » Weird Al Yankovic - My Bologna » Weird Al Yankovic - Vulture » Weird Al Yankovic - Let Me Be Your Hog » Weird Al Yankovic - I`ll Repair For You (A Theme For Home Im » Weird Al Yankovic - Jurassic Park » Weird Al Yankovic - Airline Amy » Weird Al Yankovic - Star Wars Copa Cabana » Weird Al Yankovic - Whole Lotta Lunch » Weird Al Yankovic - Snack All Night » Weird Al Yankovic - The Ballad of Kent Marlow » Weird Al Yankovic - I Lost On Jeopardy » Weird Al Yankovic - Snails » Weird Al Yankovic - Trash Day » Weird Al Yankovic - We Got The Beef » Weird Al Yankovic - I Lost On Jeopardy » Weird Al Yankovic - Holiday Greetings 1988 » Weird Al Yankovic - Since You`re Been Gone Рекомендуем скачать: » Михаил Кочетков - Как изгнанник, на чужих берегах... » Маршал Александр - Обещай мне » Михаил Трегер - Песенка Бандерлогов (по мотивам Маугли Киплинга) » Мумий Тролль - Морская капуста » Михаил Кочетков - Норвежская ресторанная мистерия » Маша Распутина - Играй музыкант » Михаил Кайгородцев - Семейная сценка времён перестройки (стих) » Михаил Шуфутинский - Еврейское местечко » Михаил Сипер, Василий Мешавкин - Новый год » Михаил Шелег - По садовому кольцу » Михаил Щербаков - Про ненадетые браслеты » Многоточие - Поднимись выше » Мумий Тролль - Воспитанник упавшей звезды » Мария Кочеткова - Сокол » Михаил Щербаков - Австралия » Михаил Щербаков - Я чашу свою осушил до предела... » Мумий Тролль - Клубничная » Марк Фрейдкин - Песня про Кима » Михаил Володин - Список » Мифы - Мэдисон-стрит
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