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Текст (слова) песни: Adam Sandler - The Buffoon and the Valedictorian

"And now the buffoon`s date at the drive-in with the school`s
valedictorian."

[Valedictorian:] "I really appreciate you`re asking me out.
Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

[Buffoon:] "This movie sucks shit!"

[Valedictorian:] "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up,
but Ciscel thought it was too preachy.
Anyway, I enjoyed the director`s last film immensly."

[Buffoon:] "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin` tits!"

[Valedictorian:] "Yes, well, she recently had a child.
I think her maternal biology may play a role in that.
She looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn`t she?"

[Buffoon:] "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog`s mouth and blew
his fuckin` head off."

[Valedictorian:] "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon
for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part
of their maturing process."

[Buffoon:] "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she
gives everybody head."

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I guess she`s strong for attention and
she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[Buffoon eating popcorn]
[Buffoon:] "This popcorn`s fuckin` terrible. It tastes like someone
jizzed all over it."
[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

[Valedictorian:] "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is
certainly disturbing.
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome
by the monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

[Buffoon:] "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew
my fuckin` mind!"

[Valedictorian:] "It`s ironic that parts of one`s body seems odd
and unusual because you don`t see them on a day to day basis.

[Buffoon:] "My father`s shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin` day!"

[Valedictorian:] "It`s puzzling why one person`s fecal odor can
be more overpowering than another`s.
I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that
person`s internal metabolism."

[Buffoon:] "I`m gonna go get head from that fuckin` girl."
[Gets out of the car]

[Valedictorian:] "Well, I`m sorry to see the date come to such
an abrubt conclusion."
[Buffoon walking away]
"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward
to a future rondevue."

[Buffoon:] "I like to piss in that guy`s fuckin` gas tank!"

[Valedictorian:] "Bye bye! Have fun."
[Buffoon continues to walk away]

 

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