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Put on your yamulke It`s time for Chanukah (sounds good guys) Once again it`s Onakah The miracle of Chanukah. (give it up for the Drei Dels) Chanukah is the festival of lights. One day of presents? Hell no, We get eight crazy nights. But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree I guess my first two songs didn`t do it for you So here comes number three! Ross and Phoebe from "Friends" say the Chanukah blessing. So does Lenny`s pal Squiggy and "Will & Grace"`s Debra Messing. Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy. Maybe they should have called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prairie." We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black. Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back! (Just kidding Tommy!) We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow! (I`m jewish!) Oh My God! Sweet Robbie Schneider is here! Put on the yamukah Here comes Chanukah The guy in Willie Nelson`s band who plays harmonica Celebrates Chanukah. Oooo, good job Schneider Osama bin Laden--(Booo!)--not a big fan of the Jews. Well, maybe that`s because he lost a figure skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes, her mama`s Jewish! Houdini and David Blaine escaped straightjackets with such precision. But the one thing they could not get out of Their painful circumcision. As for Half-Jewish actors, Seann Penn is quite the great one, And Marlon Brando not a Jew at all , But it looks to me like he ate one. There`s Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck and Paula Abdul. Joey Ramone invented punk rock music But first came Hebrew school. Natalie Portmanukah It`s time to celebrate Chanukah. I hope I get an Abrtronicah, on this joyful, toyful Chanukah. So get a high colonicah And soil your long johnukahs If you really really wantukah. Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Happy Chan-u-kah!
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