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He said he`d be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It`s too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he`d be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?) Here in Brockton, Mass., I got my thumb in my ass Mama`s combing up a big beehive (Celtics) Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he? The bitch doesn`t even bother calling Even though it`s 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally) I`m feeling kinda antsy Mama`s getting fancy Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox) He said he`d be here at seven It`s closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin` the �stache, kid) Me lookin` like a sap In a wool knit cap Mama`s next move is a bun (fuckin` Patriots) Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude) Where the fuck is he? (I couldn`t find my fuckin` snowboots, pal) I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover) Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive) That stupid little punk He`s probably fuckin` drunk I bet he drank a case Wanna pop him in the face right now Mama`s eyebrow Wicked good Wicked good (Oh, GOD) Wicked good Wicked good (Fuck yeah) Wicked good Wicked good (Pisser?) Well my friend is still a no-show And I`m getting` fucking pissed (Why?) �Cause I could`ve gone with Charlie In the side of his Harley Mama`s on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!) So I guess I ain`t going out tonight �Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced) But call the operator �Cause one perm later Mama`s hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!) Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin` me a wicked funny joke!) Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though…) I wish I had a car I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy) I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record) I could have gone with Charlie (I`m in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!) He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])
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