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Your mother gives the bathroom door A final and desperate yankin` - I been caught wankin` "What`s taking so long?!" she`d implore `Cept here`s something she`s not seen before Oh man, you been caught wankin` I been caught wankin` It`s probably pretty Freudian But its happened to every man I been caught wankin` Someone walks too suddenly in And you`re left standin` with a silly grin And your dodger`s still in your hand I just been readin` N.M.E `Bout what lately has got cred They been caught wankin` Look, its true that it might just be me But I tell you what, as far as I can see They`re massaging Kojak`s head They been caught wankin` He`s a bloke you could meet any day Last names? - hey, just drop it He been caught wankin` "Tom and Nicole" he`ll often say In his own familiar nice bloke way Hey Ray - get your hand off it Been caught wankin` We all saw the funeral for Lady Di And didn`t you just want to barf? They been caught wankin` The media all with their snouts in the sty Crocodile tears caught in their eyes You had to be heartless not to laugh They been caught wankin` Why is it just so hard not to gag When a rock star adopts some big issue? Rock star, caught wankin` "No animal cruelty" they`re likely to brag But later they`ll put a fish up some slag For godsakes, who`s taken all the tissues? Rock star, caught wankin` A bad boy image does no real harm So by all means, go be caught stealin` You been caught wankin` Go be caught crackin` car alarms Be caught with a needle stuck up your arm - Just don`t be caught with spoof on the ceilin` Been caught wankin`
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