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{*to a parody of Eminem`s "Lose Yourself" beat*}
Look, if you had, one shot To sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it Or just let it slip Yo [Verse 1] Remote is ready, eyes wide palms are sweaty Theres Flintstones on the TV all ready, Wilma and Beatty No virgin, I`m channel surfin and I`m HD ready So I flip, garbage is all I`m getting The Simon Cal, who folks wanna disembowel He oppens his mouth, always say something fowl Their dying wow, wannabes are crying now He votes em out, time to throw in the towl Shows based on reality, oh the humanity Oh the these family shows, love profanity Woh the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee Home of degravity, no they live happily Yo, plust the Ali G show, and celebrity mo Oh theres Anna Nicole, she scarin me Look ma no cavites, oh its a station break Better go out to the kitchen and micorwave something [Chorus] Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh) My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO The travel channel has gone furry and lifetime Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, controlled me, turn off those music videos (oh) I`m gonna watch CSPAN TVLand and HBO The History Channel, and QVC, and Lifetime Your gonna... [Verse 2] My butt is aking, as I watch Nascar racing That show about undertaking, Larry King To 24 to, Law & Order The Weather Channel`s boring like 60 Minutes Ancient reporters, next up on E True Hollywood Story The rise and decline of 12 actors named Cory Shows for next fall, they already been namin CSI: Boise, and Touched by an Uncle Both sound pretty lamen, and so does everybody who tolerates Ramond And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute I can`t believe Richard Simmons ain`t in it I move right on to 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter Then I bet I watch the Bachelorette, followed by welcome back Cotter And the Muppets show where they go and I`m not [Chorus] Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh) My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO The Disney channel and A&E and lifetime Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, controlled me, but I still love Lisa Cudrow (oh) I`m lookin at CSPAN TVLand and HBO The Playboy Channel, CourtTV, and Lifetime Your gonna... [Verse 3] Never miss Melorose Place or Lost in Space I`ve seen each Amazing Race, Without a Trace But I only watched Will & Grace, one time, one day Wish I Hadn`t, cause TiVo now thinks I`m gay Oh, and Fear Factor, I watched maybe a halfhour After that, felt like I needed a long Shower Network Execs with naked ambition Nextweek on fox watch lions eat Christians Liked to tie up those programming planners Make them watch all that junk until there heads explode just like scanners Leech coverd, grub-eatin fools on Survivor Look theres James Lipton discussin the ohbra of Mr. Rob Schneider and those gilligan and Spongebob Plus there MaGiver and Jay Leno has got Madonna Haters Luke Perry and a special all piglatin episode of Drew Carey Wanna turn on ET, cause I`m a gossip freak And I gotta know who JLo is marring this week A 30 second spot welcome back to Are You Hot I was plannin on recording the Sopranos, I forgot I love shows with or without a plot I`ll stare until my legs are numb, my eyes blood shot Because I only got, one brain to rot I`m gonna spend my life watchin television a lot [Chorus] Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, theyscold me, but I still tune into every show (oh) My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO The Sifi channel and AMC and lifetime Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me, controlled me, turn off that Oprah Winfrey show (oh) I got it on CSPAN TVLand and HBO The Learing Channel and MTV, and Lifetime Your gonna... You can watch anything you want to man
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