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Текст (слова) песни: Weird Al Yankovic - Constipated



Uh huh, extra cheese.
Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for me.

Pizza party at your house,
I went just to check it out.
19 extra larges,
What a shame, no one came.
Just us, eatin` all alone,
You said take the pizza home.
No sense lettin` all this go to waste,
So then I faced

Pizza all day, and everyday, there`s cheese round the clock,
It`s gettin` me blocked, And I sure don`t care, for irregularity.

Tell me,
Why`d you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cause right now I`d do anything to just get my bowels evacuated,
In the bathroom.
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should`ve taken laxatives or had my colon irrigated.
No, no, no.

I was feelin` pretty down,
`Til my girlfriend came around.
We`re just so alike in every way, I gotta say.
In fact, I just thought I might,
pop the question there that night.
I was kissing her so tenderly,
But woe is me.

Who would have guessed, her family crest.
I suddenly spy, tattoo`d on her thigh.
And son of a gun, it`s just like the one on me.
Tell me.

How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated.
What to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with 11 toes,
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated.
No, no, no.

(no no no)

I had so much on my mind,
I thought maybe I`d unwind.
Try out that new roller coaster ride,
And the guide...

Said not to stand, but that`s a demand,
That I couldn`t meet, I got on my feet,
And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see.
Tell me.

Why`d I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it.
It`s such a drag now.
I can`t eat, I can`t breathe, I can`t snore, I can`t belch or yodel anymore,
Can`t spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illistrated.
Oh no!

Why`d I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated.
What a bummer.
I can`t blink, I can`t cough, I can`t sneeze.
But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now.
Haven`t been the same since my head and I were separated.
No, no, no.

 

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Все тексты песен: Weird Al Yankovic

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