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Mom and dad are goin` out for the evening And you`re stuck inside the house all alone That`s when you decided it might be fun to harass someone Dial a random number up on your telephone You ask if their refrigerator is running Then you tell `em they should go out and catch it Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin` `em from They`d come and bust your head right in with a ratchet Listen to me Don`t go makin` phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to I know that you think it`s funny drivin` folks up the wall But it`s really gettin` old fast Little Melvin has a natural obsession Askin` for Prince Albert in a can He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call To some guy he doesn`t know who lives in Japan He`s callin` strangers up at three in the morning Gives `em pizza pie delivery at four He won`t be laughin when they`re tracin` his line One day the phone police will be there at his door Yo, hear me Don`t go makin` phony calls Only dial the seven-digit numbers you`re used to Swear someday I`m gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall How long is this phase gonna last? Come on Moe`s bar, what`ll ya eat, beat or drink? Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch. Hold on. I`ll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I`m going to catch you, and I`m going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick! Don`t go makin` phony calls Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to You went through the New York City phone book and prank called `em all Hope that you grow out of this fast Dont` go makin` phony calls, Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to Betcha think it`s funny when you`re drivin` folks right up the wall But you`re just a pain in the aaa....
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