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It feels like I`ve been alone too long With no girls around, My mind was wondering, Thinking of some way, to release it I looked in the kitchen, Saw some crisco oil and thats when my blood started to boil Oooohhh yeah Ow, ow, ow! (Uh-oh) Ow, ow, ow! (oh god, what did I just do?!) No-one wanted to be with me, had to make my dream come true I wanted to hump something, I didn`t know what to do It seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around I stuck my weenie in a bottle, and now I can`t get it out (stuck my weenie in a bottle today, gonna shove it up all the way, I stuck my weenie in a bottle, oh no, i can`t, just can`t, someone help me out) Its turning purple, all the feeling`s gone Now where did I put that friggin` phone? Dialling 911 Please pick up, I`m in alot of pain This was supposed to feel good, now I`m suffering Oh please answer Denver 911, what is your emergency? Ow, ow, ow! Hello? Ow, ow, ow! Sir, what seems to be the problem? No-one wanted to be with me, had to make my dream come true I wanted to hump something, I didn`t know what to do It seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around I stuck my weenie in a bottle, and now I can`t get it out You stuck your weenie in a bottle, oh my You must be a really lonely guy, You stuck your weenie in a bottle, thats a first Don`t worry sir, we`re sending somebody out Hey Pam, this guy`s got his weenie stuck in a bottle! No way! He does! What a friggin` loser! Wait, sir, we`re sending somebody out AHAHAHAHAHAHA! (He`s in here, lets break the door down!Stand back! OH MY GOD! AHAHAHAHA!) No-one wanted to be with him, he had to make his dream come true, he wanted to hump something, I (HE) didn`t know what to do, it seemed like a good idea, and no-one else was around, he stuck his weenie in a bottle, now I (HE) can`t get it out! Ok, relax kid, we`re gonna get this thing off ya! Ok Harry get ready. PULL, PULL, PULL! Stuck my weenie in a bottle today, now now, now I can`t get it out
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