RU: 0-9 А Б В Г Д Е Ж З И К Л М Н О П Р С Т У Ф Х Ц Ч Ш Щ Э Ю Я
EN: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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(James Beavers/Steven Beavers/Barry Poole) Well, Lordy, mercy, I`s in a mess, My wife run off with my TV set, Didn`t bother me none that she had to go, `Cept I`s gonna miss all my TV shows. So I looked up to heaven, got down on my knees. An` I cried: "Dear Lord, will you help me, please." "I need a TV by tomorrow night, "`Cos Rick Flare`s involved in a talent fight." Well I guess my tytheing finally paid off, `Cos early next mornin` shoulda seen what I saw. Reached in my overhorse for my inhaler, `Cos there`s a big brown box there, right in my trailer. I used my truck keys, cut open the box, I was hopin` for a Sony or a Microbox. I looked at the name and thought: "Oh my gosh! "This must be a new one called Macintosh." Well my last TV was a whole lot wider, But this`n here come with its own typewriter. It had all the letters from A to Z, I guess you just type in what you wanna see. Well I thought I punched up: "You Done Help," But the TV Screen said World Wide Web. Then I broke out in a cold, cold sweat: I`s the first redneck on the internet. He was the first red neck on the internet, A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat. He went on line just one time, And now they won`t forget, The first redneck on the internet. It was all so new, I shoulda taken my time, But I slammed that mouse up in four-wheel drive. Last time I did so much pointin` and clickin` I had a .22 rifle shootin` at chickens. Then, all of a sudden it occurred to me, The power I had with this fancy TV. I could get back at my ex-wife, With the touch of a button, I could ruin her life. So I got the number off her Mastercard, I bought a new lift kit and four new tyres. Then, I got on line to her bank account, Went ahead and closed that sucker out. I had her power and her water shut, slap, off. The I sent an e-mail to her dead plain boss, Lettin` him know that she told me, She`d have his job by the end of the week. He was the first red neck on the internet, A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat. He went on line just one time, And now they`ll never forget, (Won`t forget.) The first redneck on the internet. Now the moral of the story, as a matter of fact, In a couple of days I got my TV back. She said she`d like to come back, as well. I told her to go straight to AOL. Now, thank the Lord that the UPS, For droppin` that box at Cledus` address. If they ever wanna find him, it won`t take long, Type www.cledus.com To reach the first red neck on the internet, A bona fide, countrified, cyber-threat. He went on line just one time, And now they`ll never forget, (Won`t forget.) He was the first red neck on the internet. The first red neck on the internet. Hey Buck, p`preciate your help. You ARE the man. World Wide Web, population Four Zillion. Cy hoot
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